Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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