Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
