Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
