We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
