i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
