Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
