Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
