is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
