Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
