remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize