My hair reeks of homosexuality.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
