...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Someone came in the potted fern
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
