I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize