there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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