She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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