I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
