White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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