She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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