btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
