Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
