she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
