As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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