I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
