Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
