Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
