Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
