im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
