So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
