Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
