Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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