i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
