so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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