I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
