when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
