so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
