I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize