come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
