normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
