I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I AM VODKA MAN
3 2 1 whiskey
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
