Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
