i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
