So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
