Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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