Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
