sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
