I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
