it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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