Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize