her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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