at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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