i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
